Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
