I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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