I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
