Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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