FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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