what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
