maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
