i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
