We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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