Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
