When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
