Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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