We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
