Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
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