somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my shit smells like andre
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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