Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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