Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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