Cold hands, warm shart.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
