what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Who died my cat blue again?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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