i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
