I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
