Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
