I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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