So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
