if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
