: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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