There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
