i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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