i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
