i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
