I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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