He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
