My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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