i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
