New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize