Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
