You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
