I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
