Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
