I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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