Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize