this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
