he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
