I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
