Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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