East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
