How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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