His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
