sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
