I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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